what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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