What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops