A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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NEVER

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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