I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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