yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops