Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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knock knock? come in

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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I don't get it

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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