Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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I love pissing people off :P

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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