Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who invented apple? God

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You wanna see something really scary?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops