What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Ebola

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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