Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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