Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops