What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

A young baby died.

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

why does the man appear fat he is

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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