mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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