I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

How old are you? 7

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...