What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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