What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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