Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

What do you call a blue chair A black person

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Hobos are like Obama they want change.

whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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