Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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What does? 42

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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