Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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