Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

#IHateHashtags

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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