Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops