What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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the sky is green no it is not

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops