What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Women's rights

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops