what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Women's rights

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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The Oakland Raiders

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops