A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops