What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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