A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Ebola

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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