What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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