hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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kennah campion when she talks

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops