Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

What's the new green? Green

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Please don't shoot me

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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