whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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