- Anti Joke

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

No because your face is really f***** up.

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops