What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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drugs.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Your big dick.

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops