If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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