What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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silver bullet?

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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