A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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Bob Saget that is all

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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