whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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