How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The GOV and the WHO?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

p

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

thumb_up thumb_down -15

asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops