two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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