why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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A guy walks into a bar

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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want more?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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