A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

thumb_up thumb_down -18

HEY YOU! TISSUE!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

do you know what was a good idea? not last night

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops