How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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girls basketball

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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