what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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