What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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