When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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