Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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whats brown and booky a book.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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