Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Why? Why not?

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops