What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops