why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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