a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Women deserve equal rights.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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A young baby died.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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