How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

thumb_up thumb_down +34

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

they told me not to write here but i did

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops